When we first arrive into this world we are born as perfect human beings. We are not influenced by our surroundings since we do not understand much yet and so we are born as our authentic self. Once we start growing and are more aware of what's happening around us we start to mirror our behaviours based on what we see. We start exploring the world and are not afraid of as many things as adults.
The people that we surround ourselves with help to influence our movements and behaviours which we navigate based on their guidance. These people can be our parents, grandparents, siblings, teachers and peers. They try to teach us to the best of their ability and usually with good intentions. Here is where our authentic self gets lost in the woods and we start to develop a personality which we mold over the years and believe is truly a part of us.
Persona as a Mask
You may have heard others say at one point or another "That's not part of my personality." This is where we can get a little misguided. The word "Personality" comes from the Greek word "Persona" which meant the mask that actors wore on stage during drama or comic performances in the Greek Empire days. We all wear different masks or hats in different settings. We wear a different mask with our family as opposed to the one we wear around our friends, classmates or co-workers.
So if we wear different masks then we basically take on different sets of personalities depending on the situation. We can therefore change our personality at anytime and not conditioned to one way of acting. By restricting what we can do based on how we feel about our personality traits we are not being true to our authentic self.
Just Let it Be
As a father I fall victim just as many other parents do when it comes to having great expectations for my kids in shaping who they are to the best of my intentions. Anyone can relate that if I let my kids run wild then I am afraid they will not fit in with the rest of society, so I need to parent with good balance. I remember once being at the playground with my kids and they were being loud as most kids are. As I intervened by asking them to be more calm one of my kids responded which I will never forget.
They said "just let me be as I want to be".
My kids were teaching me a lesson at that moment to allow them to be closer to their authentic self. I still have trouble to this day with my kids being loud in public places but I am learning to let it go slowly over time. By letting go I can get my kids to be more comfortable and express who they really are.
Here's a great video about being authentic by Robin Sharma
Never ending Cycle
Once we truly find our authentic self we can move more towards the version of ourselves that we want to be and not let others take that power away by influencing us in the wrong direction. There are many times we feel stuck in our lives. This could be in a relationship, friendship or living career where we feel our lives are spinning out of control. Each day feels the same as yesterday which then continues on into tomorrow and becomes a never ending cycle.
We do not however need to feel stuck. There are pieces of us which have been conditioned from early childhood which has made us who we are today. We might convince ourselves that "I know who I am".
But do we really? Once we go on a self-discovery journey we start to unlock those pieces of the life puzzle which have been locked away so far back that we pretty much forgotten about them.
It is easy to just follow the crowd and be who we are supposed to be according to society. But is that who you really want to be? Do you want to just follow what everyone else is doing or do you want to be a leader in your life? We can look at life as riding in a car. We can either be the passenger where the car navigates the road at every turn or we can be in the driver's seat. By being the driver we have full control of everything around us and lead the way down the path that we truly want.
Life is a Journey
Life is not a destination which many of us are made to feel but more like a journey. Sometimes we have been asleep for many years since society can have a stranglehold on how we think and feel. This is when we need to break free of these chains and wake up. Now this self discovery does not happen overnight. Our true authentic self is like an onion which has many layers. Each day we can peel off a layer until we get closer and closer to our core.
"We fear the darkness only because we don't know what is there"
Quote from Robert Monroe
This life journey seems scary at first since society gives us the fear that we should not venture off into uncharted waters but believe me its definitely worth the adventure. Distractions happen very often. We live in a digital world which spins our heads from news feeds, notifications from work, or messages from friends about drama and gossip. We need to quiet our minds. Meditation is a great tool to go deep into our sub-conscience. Once we quiet our minds from all the distractions an amazing thing happens, we start to discover things about us that we've forgotten.
Society has their views on what they feel is important to them like differences in religion and politics and if you want to base your life on certain views then that is your agenda. But I also believe in free will. The freedom to choose the life that we want allows our soul to be capable of spiritual learning and evolving into the better version of our self.
We want to be liked and accepted by everyone. I know I do. But I also do not care if I am not accepted. I will not change who I am for someone else to accept me. If I allow society to change who I am then I am basing life on my false self. I would rather be my true self.
Recommended Reading: Zeno's Conscience by Italo Svevo
Thanks for reading. Please leave a comment below so we can engage in positive conversation and if you haven't done so already Please Subscribe. You can also follow me on my podcast and on Instagram under the same name Wise Mindset Guy
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