Empathy vs Projection

 

                                                          Image by Josh Calabrese

The Projective Lens

The term projection is not something used very often in everyday conversation. It is common in phycology where its used to understand how humans view the world around them. Think of it as a camera or projector running in our heads. Whatever we project on the screen of our mind through our eyes is perceived in the world around us.

 

This camera is always running which our minds has saved in its files all of our beliefs, values and morals. What we see on the world especially towards other people is a reflection of those beliefs, values and morals that we have. Moreover, what we see inwardly determines what we see on the outside. For example, if I do not like or love who I am as a person then I would not be able  to easily like or love other people. Whatever is in me determines what I see in the world around me.

Our External Mirror

The world around us reflects who we are, what we are, what we judge, what we fear and what we believe through our values. The external world mirrors how we feel about ourselves which then projects what we believe and how we ultimately behave. For instance, if we feel that the world is a dangerous place then we will believe that our sense of self is constantly in danger when going about our lives. It is like driving our cars on the highway. If we believe that the highway is very fast and prone to accidents then we project very little confidence in our ability to navigate that highway and metaphorically our life.

Wherever we look through that external mirror we only see ourselves. The mirror is reflecting back at us instead of showing how the world really is. What we believe determines the creation of the physical reality of the world around us. In order to amend what we see in our external world we first need to revise our internal world. This helps to bring balance.

The Ying and Yang effect

 We are what we see in others. When we notice certain character traits and values in another individual which does not align with us it can trigger us and push our buttons. It is like the old proverb "takes one to know one" since what we see in someone is what we see in our self. If someone is emotionally hurting us then that incident is reflecting an offense that we inflicted internally on ourselves. Thus we are expressing what we may be repressing.

There is a positive side to other people's negative traits. It teaches us to grow better inwardly and learn to empathize. The ying and yang effect helps keep everything in balance. We start to notice there are two sides to every story and once we see the whole picture through a better lens we can actually initiate loving what has been haunting our soul for so long. With empathy we can begin to see all the good characteristics that we admire in others and in essence start walking in their shoes.

Here's an good example of empathy narrated by Brene Brown. Video by Diana S. Psihoterapeut

Empathy with a pinch of Compassion

Empathy allows us to understand others better by putting us actively in the same situation. This will  activate a sense of compassion by intentionally listening and then showing the right kindness. This is a more effective way to show love towards our fellow human beings since we value understanding others and their unique needs instead of judging. With added compassion we are even taking things a step further by actually helping when necessary. This addresses a person's needs through a more personalized manner.

                                                                                   Image by Annie Spratt

Sometimes we need to put down the old lens of how we see the world. By looking more internally we can change the camera in our minds which has been projecting these so called distorted images for so long. It then creates a more thoughtful and empathetic view between human beings across the globe. This will have a ripple effect. Imagine the opportunity of us living in such a positive environment. It is possible. It just takes the right mindset.

It reminds me what was once said by Mother Teresa. "If everyone cleaned their own front door then the whole world would be clean." The front door is a symbol of our heart and soul; when it is clean and full of love then the rest of humankind can follow in the same direction. 

Recommended Reading: Why is God Laughing by Deepak Chopra

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