Gossip Ruins the Soul

 

Slander in Society

Gossip is basically everywhere. It congregates in families, friendships, workplaces and in schools. It has been an acceptable practice in our lives as far back as biblical times. We barely even notice that gossip is there and so it conveniently gets a free pass in society as a normal part of daily conversation. It has even been an integral part of what makes popular reality TV shows and Soap Operas which is what makes them so addictive.

However, the reality is that gossip or slander is a destructive force. It leads to broken marriages, friendships, and damaged communities. Slander becomes a major part of modern lawsuits, whether it be corporations feuding within its employees or celebrities suing publication magazines. So we need to take notice before it does harm to our self.

Corruption of the Self

Think about how you feel when someone talks negatively of you. This corruption on our soul leads to bad mental health and in some extreme cases even suicide. Gossip is usually full of false statements which we project on to our peers to help us gain fame and applause between our friends and family. The need to impress people by being dishonest can become very abusive since we are using manipulation at someone else's expense. 

As slander passes from one person to the other it becomes less and less the original story. Our dishonesty feeds the outer self which is then a false image of who we really are and then damages the inner self (our soul) with toxic energy.

Want to hear a secret?

A story I once heard in school from a wise teacher went something like this:

A man goes to see a priest for his daily confession. The man tells the priest that he heard a secret from his wife and then passed it on to others in the village. As the secret made its way around the village the story became more exaggerated by the day, so the man asked the priest how can I fix this?

The priest had the solution. He told the man go home and take a pillow to your rooftop, open the pillow and let out all the feathers. Once the man was done with the task he was instructed to see the priest again. 

The priest now asked the man to go and retrieve every last feather that blew away from his pillow so he can make amends. Each feather represents each person that the secret was passed around to creating a false story and it would be the only way to correct it.

Case in point, we never can fully comprehend how our gossip can hurt others so we should be more mindful and just avoid it all together. Once the rumor has spread it is very difficult to fix.

Here's a great video by Jay Shetty on how slander is damaging in the workplace.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NF1qgkTcEiA&t=42s

Deflection is the Key

Some tips to deflect the gossip in our lives:

• Focus on the positive: When you hear negative attributes about someone else, just respond in a positive way about them. This will give the slander not much legs to get started in the first place.
• Give the gossiper the cold shoulder: Try to figure out which friend, family member or workplace colleague is starting the slanderous stories to begin with and just don't take part in that conversation. Walking away is sometimes the easiest solution.
• Don't vent your frustrations: Letting off some steam is not a terrible thing since we shouldn't hold everything inside and let anger build up. However, choose wisely who you speak to. Giving information to the wrong person can just cause a storm of fabrication.
• Don't be the Instigator: Avoiding the toxic individuals is one thing but creating the slander is another. Keep those secrets and juicy details to yourself.

Gossip can be a corrupt communication on the soul. It reduces the trust we have with our fellow friends, family members and colleagues. We have all been guilty in some way with gossip, including myself. However, I have grown a little older and wiser now. If we are more mindful then our society can flourish undeniably. 

Recommended Readings: Swamplands of the Soul. New Life in Dismal Places. By James Hollis